I'll Wait

“To talk”.. it’s just not enough anymore…

She kept running away, trying to find all the excuses, thinking of alternatives, knowing that every possible one terrifies her. For they’re all about doing; and doing was her biggest fear … Always been afraid, intimidated by the chance to fail.  She Hated humiliation, being too reserved and too shy. Preferred staying out of everything than to dare and change..

Let’s say, she was too weak, too frightened.. She let down herself too many times before, she’d feared doing that once again.. 

Yet she knew that wasn't an excuse, it was just another ‘something’ to keep her mind off of these ideas. Guilt is all she could ever feel. She wanted to write, but she was too confused to figure out what to talk about; perhaps about the people around her, but they were too messed up, about the world?  But the world is too complicated, maybe about faith and reality, or maybe about dreams and ambitions? anyway, she had no idea where to start.. what is the first word to type down? The first idea to spill out? She was never sure …”

How will she run away then?!.. One day she’ll have to start from somewhere..

She chose to wait ..

For she was I and I was and still am, her!

Still waiting, looking around at empty souls around me... and I wait. 
I wait for that ‘something’ to happen, for a moment they raise their heads and actually see, for when they stop the noise and listen, rather than just hear ...

And don't tell me not to wait! don't think of running away! do something about it !  Do you think I didn't? You think I settled for just waiting? In fact, I didn't , I yelled at faces I've never seen , I tried to be the change I wanted to see in the world ! I actually believed that it would help change the world ... I made sure on keeping it true and good, I struggled being the exception, the one that rather study than watch a movie, the one that prefers a book, a documentary, -‘well actually I hated documentaries’-. I struggled being the Nerd. But did that help change anything? No it didn't ... so again, I'll just wait . 

I'll wait for that day when they choose to tear themselves out of their ignorance , when they choose to rise above; with morals and laws! isn't that what we're all craving..? It's like when you tell yourself that your soup is missing an ingredient but you can’t figure out what it is ! .. and I know the example might sound silly .. But yes , I think it fits perfectly .. because: you might  be missing a whole lot of things and you can’t figure out how would you bring them back..

So yes I'll wait..